So I was advised to do something this Christmas in remembrance of the people I lost this year. To do it as a way to honor a holiday that they loved so much. Which is kinda the complete opposite of what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to be alone this weekend , that it was going to be my first Christmas away from my parents and the first since my mom’s passing. I didn’t want to decorate I didn’t want the Christmas look in my apartment I felt that it would hurt too much . To go from being so happy one year to being so … I don’t even know the word to describe how I feel at times. To most these cookies just seem like boredom but the process of baking cookies and these specific cookies remind me of two people and made me appreciate not only them and their impact in my life but the plan of salvation a bit better.
These were my mom’s favorite cookies, her friend would make them every year and send them to us a gift . Last year my mom actually asked her friend to sell us some so that she could give them out as gifts . Well I found the boxes and I immediately wanted them because they are amazing , and well I’ve written about that in another post so I won’t repeat it , but what I didn’t say was how even when my mom gave my dad the green light to eat them, we still couldn’t eat them in front of her; my mom was back on a trach; and it would not have been fair for us to enjoy something she loved when she couldn’t. My mom loved these cookies because they were a gift from a friend, and they were delicious , but I think she loved them because of how close they brought the three of us, she had this rule where we had to eat them while all of in the same room . It became a xmas tradition to crowd around the cookie container and watch movies . It’s not the same but its a tradition that I can now continue with my future family .
Then there’s Norm, probably the only person I let try the cookies my mom sent up when I moved out here, and the person I complained that my mom wouldn’t let me I don’t think you guys know how much of a cookie monster that kid was . the first time we make cookies was on a date. I had to bake cookies for a relief society and he offered to help on the condition that he got to eat some of them. He complained the entire time that they were taking too long to make , the dough was pre-made. That was his thing , he could never wait until the cookies cooled enough to eat. and I would constantly tease him that he would get the runs. This would have been the perfect cookies for him to help with , because they pretty much are ready to be rolled in powdered sugar right out of the oven and ready to eat after the second coat.
Sis T, was right baking them did help me remember them. It made me feel a little bit closer to them , it made me remember all the fun times I had with them , the arguments , the sneaking eating of cookies . It helped me remember what Sister T told me that It was important to remember them because their lives were part of a plan. That when they came to this earth the heaven mourned , but the earth rejoiced , and that we loved them while they were with us and how they were light in our lives. That now that we mourn their passing , the heavens rejoice once again while we continue to remember them and all the good times and patiently wait to be reunited once again.
Of course I can’t forget the reason we even celebrate Christmas:Jesus Christ , who was born to serve in example to all of us , to come and teach us, and to pay the ultimate price for our sins so that we at our passing could go back to our Heavenly Father’s presence. This time is to remember him and His life and all the love he has for us and the amazing gift he gave us, that’s the true meaning of Christmas a remembrance and celebration of His life.
So from me and my Mexican wedding cookies , that I won’t be sharing with anyone other than Jessy and Paul ( cause I don’t think I let them try them last year ) Merry Christmas !