So at work, I spend quite a bit of time on youtube during my slow days and this week I realized there were a lot of videos where YouTubers were explaining their scars, due to tons of comments: making fun of them, feeling sorry for them or sympathizing with them over a particular scar and assuming to know their story. A few questions popped into my mind 1) Are we such a judgemental society that we must point out the “flaws” of someone’s outer shell as soon as we see them? 2) Why is it so easy to point out things we don’t like about others, yet we struggle to even consider that we have “flaws” ourselves? 3) When we do see those “physical flaws” why are we so hard on ourselves and work so hard to get rid of them? 3) Why do we automatically assume we know how someone got a certain scar or what lifestyle they live? 4) Do we ever stop to think of the inner scars a seemingly perfect person has?5) Do we stop and think how do we stop focusing on outer scars and focus on healing inner wounds? 6) Do we consider how both outer and inner scars shape each and every one of us because of the role they played in our lives? 7)How do we heal the spiritual scars we carry inside?
I recently read a quote saying “it’s a shallow life that doesn’t give you any scars ” as I pondered this I realized how true it was. Scars represent our stories, they show that we lived, that we took chances, that we made mistakes, that we were hurt, that we grew and most importantly that we survived.
My mom once told me that she hated how scared her body had become, and it broke my heart to know that she was hating her body because she no longer felt beautiful, that we had signed for the surgeries that left those scars. I remember thinking how I was grateful for those scars because they meant that she was still with us, it took a while but I think she ended up understanding that they made her stronger that they showed how much strength her body had to continue pushing through when the odds of success were so low, and that we saw her even more beautiful because of how strong she was.
Going through that experience helped cement in my mind that outer scars don’t matter in terms of being aesthetically beautiful that they make you beautiful because they show your strength. I had surgery when I was three months old and it left me with two scars on my lower abdomen that grew as I got older but I was lucky that the doctors tried to position them so that I could wear pretty much whatever I wanted and that they wouldn’t show ( not that it matters given my current modest wardrobe, but in college I had no problem wearing crop tops and two-piece bathing suits); I appreaticate that my surgons did this but in the end they show how resilent of a baby I was since less than 2 weeks later I fliped over for the first time.
Everyone has scars that others can’t see and these are the scars that really haunt us that scars that cut us deepest, the ones hardest to heal, the ones that really changed affected the outcome of our lives that internally shaped us. These are the scars that either have pushed us closer to our heavenly father or pushed us farther away from him. The following is an excerpt from Jeanette Waite Bennett’s 1997 talk Healing Spiritual Wounds speaks of how we can begin to work on these scars and heal them through our Savior’s love.
As I gently touched the scrapes on my hands, I thought of the wounds on someone else’s hands and how those scars are so vital for us. Jesus Christ went through intense suffering for our spiritual well-being.
I realized that just as my body had physical scars it was trying to heal, my spirit was also pocked and scarred by careless things I had done. Heavenly Father knew we would hurt ourselves spiritually on earth, so he sent his Son to help us heal our wounds.
As I started to listen more intently to the sacrament prayers, I realized that by taking the sacrament and renewing my covenants, the Savior could wipe away the inward bruises on my soul.
My soul was blemished from its original perfection. I knew the formula for healing physical wounds, but the way to heal spiritual scars hadn’t seemed so obvious until I listened closely to the prayers: “… keep his commandments which he has given them; that they may always have his Spirit to be with them” (D&C 20:77).
I can be healed through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
Our bodies heal from inside out: platelets rush to the site of trauma and form a a clot, then coagulation factors come into play formin fibrin strand that strengthens the clot and allow simulation for new tissue growth to close up over the wound little by little until its healed and make that area strong. That’s how we should spiritually heal as well; we need to look within ourselves and turn to the lord and ask him to help us heal ourselves spiritually , we must follow his commandments with all our hearts and allow ourselves to feel his love inside of us and mend those wounds, and open our heart to others regardless of the physical or spirituals scars they may have because love can ease the pain those scars have caused. Our scars tell the story of our lives we should not he ashamed of them but proud that we have surcived the trial that created them, that we are stronger than what tried to hurt us and we must know that to our heavenly father we are his beautiful children no matter what, and although our bodies may not be in the same condition they were when we began our lives when we stand in his presence again they will be unmarked and perfect for all eternity.